Summary: A Muslim woman must be attentive to her husband’s sexual needs and is recommended to beautify herself for him. If she refuses to respond to his legitimate sexual advances, she would be committing sin, unless there is a legitimate excuse, such as being on her menses, making up an obligatory fast she has previously missed or being sick.
DUTIES AND OBLIGATIONS OF THE WIFE TO HER HUSBAND
Islam has laid down several conditions for the validity of the marriage contract. In this third and concluding article on the view of Islam on marriage, the focus will be more on the conditions on the part of the wife which she is bound to perform in the union of marriage.
Prophet Muhammadu (SAW) said, “Marry a devout Muslim woman and you will prosper”, (Sahih Al-Bukhari: 4802; Sahih Muslim: 1466). The wife must be Muslim, Jewish or Christian, believing in her religion. However, Islam encourages Muslim men to choose devout Muslim women for this purpose because a practicing Muslim will be good mother who will give her children the best upbringing and help her husband adhere to the teachings of Islam.
She must be a believing woman, as it is forbidden to marry a woman known for her lewdness and immorality. As the Qur’an states, “It is lawful for you to marry the chaste believing women and the chaste women of the people who were given the Book before you.” (Surat Al-Maa’idah, Q5 vs 5)
She must not be one of those women whom the man is never permitted to marry at any time in his life whatsoever. Man must not marry two sisters at all or a woman and her aunt as this practice is forbidden by Allah. This is therefore to say both men and women must learn to keep this command and law of Allah.
Women should resist the temptation of conducting themselves in the way and manner some unbelieving women do. They are urged to shun bad cultures, particularly the western culture. There is nothing like equality of man and woman, so women should not try to take over the position of men as the head of the household. Women should always recognise the headship of men.
I believe that culture is dynamic, but we should not allow the so-called civilization to affect Allah’s order and His plan for us concerning the marriage institution. People should get married. Children should not be produced outside wedlock. It is sad that in some countries in the western world, the report has it that many children are being born out of wedlock which is against the design and purpose of Allah. In this case there is no shame hearing women saying, ‘I am a single mother’.
Women who don't follow the Kuffar (the unbelievers) and their own desires are seen as uncivilized people, but we must obey God rather than human beings.
Hadith of the Prophet says: “Again, like all rights and obligations in Islam (in marriage and other areas), it is important that Both parties understand them and exert their best efforts to apply them in the way that is pleasing to Allah, the Most High”.
Wives’ responsibilities among other things are stated as follows:
Obedience in Kindness: The Prophet (SAW) has placed men in charge of women, and men are to be responsible for the women’s maintenance, guidance and general care, due to the characteristics with which He has endowed them; in addition to the money they spend to support them. As the Quran states, “Men have charge of women because Allah has preferred the one above the other and because they spend their wealth on them”. (Suratul Nisaa Q4 vs 34)
Attentiveness to His Sexual Needs: A Muslim woman must be attentive to her husband’s sexual needs and is recommended to beautify herself for him. If she refuses to respond to his legitimate sexual advances, she would be committing sin, unless there is a legitimate excuse, such as being on her menses, making up an obligatory fast she has previously missed or being sick.
The Prophet (SAW) said; “If a man calls his wife to bed and he refuses, and then he spends the night angry with her, the angels will continue to curse her till morning”. (Sahih Bukhari)
Not allowing anyone he does not like into his house: The Prophet (SAW) said: “It is unlawful for a woman to observe a voluntary fast without the permission of her husband, and it is also unlawful for her to allow anyone to enter his house without her husband's permission”. (Sahih Bukhari). This is the right which she must respect.
A good wife must not leave the house without her husband’s permission: One of the husband’s rights is that the wife is not allowed to leave the house without his permission, whether she wants to go out for a personal or general need.
Service: A woman is recommended to serve her husband in kindness by preparing good and healthy meals for him and undertaking the household chores.
The most important thing is that couples should be very prayerful: Allah says in the Holy Quran that: “Ad duau soiful muuminin” meaning “prayer is the sword of the believer”.
Other responsibilities are:
Be like a mother to him;
Don’t give out anything that belongs to your husband without his permission;
Don’t be dirty, but dress and look attractive in your husband’s presence;
Marry your In-laws along with your husband;
Do not rain curses on your husband and children even if you are totally frustrated;
Don’t do anything without your husband’s consent;
Always keep silent when he is angry, and
Always thank him for everything he does.
Concluded!
Aminat Adesope is our Staff Writer.
DUTIES AND OBLIGATIONS OF THE WIFE TO HER HUSBAND
Islam has laid down several conditions for the validity of the marriage contract. In this third and concluding article on the view of Islam on marriage, the focus will be more on the conditions on the part of the wife which she is bound to perform in the union of marriage.
Prophet Muhammadu (SAW) said, “Marry a devout Muslim woman and you will prosper”, (Sahih Al-Bukhari: 4802; Sahih Muslim: 1466). The wife must be Muslim, Jewish or Christian, believing in her religion. However, Islam encourages Muslim men to choose devout Muslim women for this purpose because a practicing Muslim will be good mother who will give her children the best upbringing and help her husband adhere to the teachings of Islam.
She must be a believing woman, as it is forbidden to marry a woman known for her lewdness and immorality. As the Qur’an states, “It is lawful for you to marry the chaste believing women and the chaste women of the people who were given the Book before you.” (Surat Al-Maa’idah, Q5 vs 5)
She must not be one of those women whom the man is never permitted to marry at any time in his life whatsoever. Man must not marry two sisters at all or a woman and her aunt as this practice is forbidden by Allah. This is therefore to say both men and women must learn to keep this command and law of Allah.
Women should resist the temptation of conducting themselves in the way and manner some unbelieving women do. They are urged to shun bad cultures, particularly the western culture. There is nothing like equality of man and woman, so women should not try to take over the position of men as the head of the household. Women should always recognise the headship of men.
I believe that culture is dynamic, but we should not allow the so-called civilization to affect Allah’s order and His plan for us concerning the marriage institution. People should get married. Children should not be produced outside wedlock. It is sad that in some countries in the western world, the report has it that many children are being born out of wedlock which is against the design and purpose of Allah. In this case there is no shame hearing women saying, ‘I am a single mother’.
Women who don't follow the Kuffar (the unbelievers) and their own desires are seen as uncivilized people, but we must obey God rather than human beings.
Hadith of the Prophet says: “Again, like all rights and obligations in Islam (in marriage and other areas), it is important that Both parties understand them and exert their best efforts to apply them in the way that is pleasing to Allah, the Most High”.
Wives’ responsibilities among other things are stated as follows:
Obedience in Kindness: The Prophet (SAW) has placed men in charge of women, and men are to be responsible for the women’s maintenance, guidance and general care, due to the characteristics with which He has endowed them; in addition to the money they spend to support them. As the Quran states, “Men have charge of women because Allah has preferred the one above the other and because they spend their wealth on them”. (Suratul Nisaa Q4 vs 34)
Attentiveness to His Sexual Needs: A Muslim woman must be attentive to her husband’s sexual needs and is recommended to beautify herself for him. If she refuses to respond to his legitimate sexual advances, she would be committing sin, unless there is a legitimate excuse, such as being on her menses, making up an obligatory fast she has previously missed or being sick.
The Prophet (SAW) said; “If a man calls his wife to bed and he refuses, and then he spends the night angry with her, the angels will continue to curse her till morning”. (Sahih Bukhari)
Not allowing anyone he does not like into his house: The Prophet (SAW) said: “It is unlawful for a woman to observe a voluntary fast without the permission of her husband, and it is also unlawful for her to allow anyone to enter his house without her husband's permission”. (Sahih Bukhari). This is the right which she must respect.
A good wife must not leave the house without her husband’s permission: One of the husband’s rights is that the wife is not allowed to leave the house without his permission, whether she wants to go out for a personal or general need.
Service: A woman is recommended to serve her husband in kindness by preparing good and healthy meals for him and undertaking the household chores.
The most important thing is that couples should be very prayerful: Allah says in the Holy Quran that: “Ad duau soiful muuminin” meaning “prayer is the sword of the believer”.
Other responsibilities are:
Be like a mother to him;
Don’t give out anything that belongs to your husband without his permission;
Don’t be dirty, but dress and look attractive in your husband’s presence;
Marry your In-laws along with your husband;
Do not rain curses on your husband and children even if you are totally frustrated;
Don’t do anything without your husband’s consent;
Always keep silent when he is angry, and
Always thank him for everything he does.
Concluded!
Aminat Adesope is our Staff Writer.
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