Islam view on divorce by Aminat Adesope

Marriage, as prescribed by Allah, is the lawful union of a man and a woman based on mutual consent. Ideally, the purpose of marriage is to foster a state of tranquility, love and compassion in Islam, but this is not always the case. Islam discourages divorce but make provisions for it by either party in certain peculiar circumstances.

At-talaq (Divorce) is the most hateful but acceptable act in the sight of Allah. Islam is a religion of peace and has taught us brotherhood. Allah says in the holy Quran that “Love for your brother what you love for yourself”. Allah has also commanded all believers to get married because getting married is half of our faith. So every human being is expected and free to marry any religious spouse of his or her own choice without anybody choosing or deciding for him or her unlike the Pakistan where parents or relatives must choose husbands for their female children and the girls have no option than to accept or else their disapproval is viewed as disobedience which is punishable with death.

Divorce in Islam is not just an issue a man can make up his mind and carry out immediately. There are steps and conditions to follow before applying for divorce. Allah provides general guidelines for the process of divorce with emphasis on both parties upholding the values of justice and kindness in formalizing the end to their marriage. See Quran 2: vs 224-237 for general guidelines regarding divorce.

A husband that wants to divorce his wife, the first step is to pronounce “Dahi’Talaaq” meaning ‘I divorce you in the presence of his wife’. This statement does not mean that the husband should now start throwing his wife’s luggage outside or sending her back to her parent’s house immediately. For a man to make such pronouncement before his wife, he should be able to prove that he has heard something unpleasant about her. The pronouncement by the husband may be verbal or written, but once made, there is to be a waiting period of three months ('Iddah) during which there must be no sexual relations, even though the two are living under the same roof.

It is also said in the Quran that during that waiting period the wife must not be forced to leave her husband's home. She should not leave the matrimonial home voluntarily on account of the pronouncement of the husband unless the she has committed indecency of some sort, in which case it is permitted for her to leave the house.

Allah says; "O Prophet! When you divorce women, divorce them for their prescribed time, and calculate the number of the days prescribed, and be careful of (your duty to) Allah, your Lord. Do not drive them out of their houses, nor should they themselves go forth, unless they commit an open indecency; and these are the limits of Allah, and whoever goes beyond the limits of Allah, he indeed does injustice to his own soul. You do not know that Allah may after that bring about reunion”. Quran 65 vs 1

After declaring the divorce to the wife, both the wife and the husband must start counting “Iddah” meaning waiting period. How do we count Iddah i.e waiting period? For a woman that is still menstruating; she must count three “Idols” meaning menstrual period from the day her husband declared her divorced and he must not touch her from the first menstrual period to the third menstrual period.

For a pregnant woman, she must wait till she delivers the baby and the husband must feed and do all necessary things to protect her and the unborn baby after the divorce pronouncement, but must not touch her since the day of declaration.
For a woman that has attained menopause, she must count three months from the day her husband declared her divorced.

The waiting period helps to prevent hasty terminations due to anger and allows both parties time to reconsider as well as to see if the wife is pregnant. If the wife is pregnant, the waiting period is lengthened until she delivers. At any point during this time, the husband and wife are free to resume their conjugal relationship, thereby ending the divorce process. During this waiting period, the husband remains financially responsible for the support of his wife.

Another reason for issue of divorce to be pronounced is a situation where the husband has heard shocking news about his wife and reacted hastily on it, but later realized it was not true or the wife is given the opportunity to explain herself and promises to change the behaviour the husband is complaining about. The couple can decide to reconcile and the man in this case could reverse his divorce pronouncement and divorce will not take effect again. This can only happen inasmuch as the waiting period has not ended.

Allah says: “Thus when they fulfill their term appointed, either take them back on equitable terms or part with them on equitable terms; and take for witness two persons from among you, endued with justice, and establish the evidence (as) before Allah. Such is
the admonition given to him who believes in Allah and the Last Day. And for those who fear Allah, He (ever) prepares a way out."  Qur'an 65 vs 2

It is also emphasized in the Quran that: "And when you divorce women and they reach their prescribed time, then either retain them in good fellowship or set them free with liberality, and do not retain them for injury, so that you exceed the limits, and whoever does this, he indeed is unjust to his own soul; and do not take Allah's communications for a mockery, and remember the favor of Allah upon you, and that which He has revealed to you of the Book and the Wisdom, admonishing you thereby; and be careful (of your duty to) Allah, and know that Allah is the Knower of all things."  Qur'an 2 vs 231

Now, we can see that Allah is the Most Merciful and the Most Gracious.

Aminat Adesope is one of our Staff Writers.

To be continued.