The best means of training a child is by example. It is expected that a child should live the basic orientation he has learnt from his immediate environment. And this orientation is in most cases, that of his parents. Muslim parents should therefore learn to train their children by example. For if other methods fail, it is because parents themselves do not apply the teachings as recommended in the Holy Quran.
For instance, some parents teach their children moderation but they themselves don’t practice what they teach. Children are watching and they copy whatever they see. It is shocking to see some parents go excess in their eating and dressing habits. Many parents tell their children to be kind, whereas there is nothing like kindness in their lives as they often quarrel or even fight in the presence of their children. Some parents are very harsh on the children believing that it is by shouting and insulting or canning the children that those children will fear them and do whatever they want them to do.
Parents indulging in corporal punishment on the children fail to realize that children learn more easily from the ways adults conduct themselves. A better illustration of the negative consequence in teaching a child with bad exemplary character is given in the following story narrated by a Shariah court judge:
“I issued a judicial ruling to cut off a thief’s hand. During the judgement execution hour, the culprit called above his voice: before cutting my hand, kindly cut off my mother’s tongue. My first robbery was that of our neighbours egg and my mother never rebuked me for this act, nor she did instruct me to return it, but instead, she had encouraged me saying: ‘Glory be to God, my child has come of age’ if not for my mother’s destructive tongue, I would not have been (known) a thief”.
I, therefore, advise parents to apply the recommended measures for training children.
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