Understanding real love By Ijuo Okpe

It is all cupboard love; mere infatuation though the face is prepossessing, and mouth flowing with seemingly sensible word. Lips full of counterfeited smiles. It is nothing but a deceit.

“You are the mosquito in my net. You are the sugar in my tea. I cannot do without you. I am ready to die for you”. Those words said or written to you may be taken to mean a genuine expression of love.

If you know mosquitoes cause malaria, and too much intake of sugar is an invitation to diabetes, you must be careful with whoever expresses such so-called undying love in the manner as described above.

Real love is first friendship that is spiced and shrouded with care and understanding. In real love, the parties involved care about the feelings of each other. Real love “seeks that which is best for the one it loves”.

The aftermath of real love is marriage. But where marriage does not result, the parties involved separate happily. Where there is parting or separation, the guy and the fellow do not bear malice or animosity for each other. Real love is really “friendship love” and it remains platonic as long as it lasts.

The subjects of discussions between the guy and the fellow in friendship love are predominantly about the school activities, political developments, religious life, personal careers and moral affairs. Indeed, when we say “Love is blind” we mean “infatuation love”. Notice that infatuation is just unreasonable lust for the opposite sex, because of physical attraction. When you are infatuated, you are just being “carried away by an attraction to someone”.

What true or real love is all about can be found in 1Corinthians 13:4-8a where Apostle Paul under the power of the Holy Spirit says: “Love suffers long; love does not envy; love does not promote itself; love is not puffed up; love does not behave rudely; love does not seek its own; love is not provoked; love thinks no evil; love does not rejoice in iniquity; love rejoices in the truth; love bears all things; love believes all things; love endures all things; love never fails”.


People who are in real love do not discuss sex. Sex is worth waiting for until marriage.  Aids is real and the only right medicine for it is total abstinence from pre-marital sex. It is also advisable to note that, apart from the fact that sex outside of the marriage is sin, it can ‘leave you with life-long guilt’.

This piece is not intended to make anyone feel guilty.